Over the past few days, the reality of being outnumbered on a daily basis is really becoming a harsh reality that has overwhelmed me with anxiety. We are the ones who chose to expand our family and we are the ones who need to bare the brunt of those responsibilities. My husband works long hours and his commue makes for an added 3 hrs each day... Leaving me alone to care for our children for about 12 hours each day... on average. He is amazing with our daughter on the wkends and I know he will continue to be a huge source of help on the wkends... But what about those 12 hours each day I am left to do it solo?
Although this is the second time around and second c-section... I should know what to expect. Last time I did not have a 2.5 yr old climbing on me, needing me to cuddle or change a pull-up or drive them to preschool. I am more than nervous about the 1st few weeks this time around mostly b/c of the needs my 2.5 yr old has... not the baby! That, on top of the fact that my OBGYN had a little chat with me at my 32 wks visit (mostly b/c he saw how active she is and how much she depends on my attention)... He advised me that until my "incision check" at my 2 wk followup visit, I need to secure childcare for my older child b/c the things I would need to do for her, would hinder my recouperation.
Here comes my major anxiety... Although my husband and local friends are great. They have responsibilities such as work or their own children to care for. I can't drop Kayla off for playdates, because I can't drive. I can't ask people to take off work to help me out... And the there is the fact that I have general issues asking people for help b/c in the past there are ALWAYS strings attached with certain people and seriously it ends up being NOT WORTH IT!...hence my dilemia!
This baby has not even made its debut and I am already stressed about caring for two children.
I have heard so many times over the years that "it takes a village to raise a child".... I wish I had that village!
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